Judgment tale by Herman the German

Drunken Tale told by Herman the German in the Loaded Die.


Bloody do gooders, they breed like freeking rabbits! I spend my days thwarting the elves, I even destroyed their precious Apothecary tree, that only slowed them down, bastards grew a new one a few days later.

I sacrificied children, and pissed on the Celstial guardian. So I pray to you my dark lord, grant me the insight as to how I may create havok on this irritating world of 12DS.

<a Deep haunting voice> "My disciple, you must yet prove yourself worthy of such tasks. I see you have built up both your strength and agility to at least base 30
you are ready for a new task, I command you to to undergo the trial of judgment. Head East of the city, and keep going east until you cross a bridge, there is a cave that leads to the Frozen northlands.
The far NE corner is the trail head to climb the mountain, venture to the very top and find the Judge, He shall test you, and the reward is great."

Well dammit, I knew my lord would never let me off that easy, but I was hoping for it to be more fun like raping virgins, or kicking around young children, ohh ohh tossing exploding gnomes at noobs.. dammit I am going off on a tangent again.
"Lets do this" I speak out loud, I drink down some fresh elf treefriend blood, and head east.

As I head east through Eastlands I nod at the goblin scout hiding at the water-tower ( little prick too stupid to know I can see him). an Elite checks me out, and without breaking a stride we fist bump. a few more yards I spot that damn annoying stag, being somewhat bored already I wrestle him to the ground and break off one of his antlers, " there you one horned POS, try to get some tail now!", a thought occurs to me, this horn just might make a great dagger handle one day and I stick it in my pack.
I keep marching east and find the bridge, ohh I know this bridge well, caution giants it reads, I should stop and visit my bud Grutt, or call on his sister, I do love those tig ole bitties of hers. No time for a social call, I am on a mission, I cross the bridge veer left around the corner and enter the cave entrance to the northlands.

now you would think heading NE would be easy, but dammit these trails go all over the place, and many spots are unpassable, ohh WTF, great a barbarian camp, wel my companion Kreig could use some fun, so I unleash him on the barbarians, and sit back and roll one up as I listen to the screams. Time to move on as I spark up, for christ sakes Kreig, stop staring at the loot bags on the ground and come on. it's time to go....I said LETS GO DAMMIT!!!
after many hours of weaving through chasm passes I eventually find the trail head up the mountain in the extreme far NE corner, and enter the area.

HOLY CRAP IT"S COLD, think I getting frostbite on my man bits here, speaking of frostbite, its attacking my junk literally, and we have some Ice mass golem dicks here as well, I hate the cold. I eventually come across sheer rock face with a rope at the bottom, there appears to be something at the top to attach this rope to, and I can climb up. and up, and up , and up......
Finally the top, what the hell stupid frozen lake, and another ice ball prick thing, lets smash this and find this judge..great, damn thing wont stay dead, thought there was something different about it, hurts like hell too..I think I have a special something un my pocket for things like this.."uses spell sequencer" time to move on..something tingles in my head and tells me to head to NW area.. might be the weed, but lets check this out, there we go, a path that leads to a clearing and a pompous self important looking goof pacing back and forth, yah that looks like a judge to me.

I proceed to talk to him, and he asks if I am ready...ready?? ok sure lets do this, and the bastard shoves me down a hole in the ice, I look around this pit and spot a "Good Thing" (whatever that is) running at me, I barely have time to summon Kreig and this thing starts bashing me, damn that thing hits hard as hell, this is going to be a close one.

eventually and with much effort I beat the pulp out of the Good thing, and I see a fancy red glowing breastplate inscribed as infernal armor laying on the ground, the craftmanship is incredible +20 armor bunch of bonus stats and resists, also a bunch of other things I am down with this.

Thus ends my tale of Judgment, Puke paladins, and Harper scouts also can benefit from this task.


Infernal Armor ( blackguard lvl 15+ only)
full plate
+20 AC bonus
10% neg nrgy immunity
20 bludg, pierce, slash resist
50 neg nrgy resist
+5 all stats
impr evade
+12 save throws
regen +20
on use divine might
on use mass heal
upon equip permanent divine shield applied ( until you die )

Divine Armor ( Paladin lvl 15+ only)
same as infernal but glows white instead

Harpers Halo ( Harper Scout only necklace)
+5 AC natural armor vs evil, and good
+10 natural armor bonus
feat HIPS
feat sneak attack 5d6
25% immunity magic, sonic, pos, neg energies
+3 all stats
+5 save throws
+10 regen
+10 all skills
on use 1/day hellball

Good good Thank you for writing about the Armors.

You will receive a publish contract soon.

L0BSTER

Edit - Publish Contract has been received:DONE!