What goes through my Mind while doing Merappi

Part 1.

Merappi
*Disclaimer*
Loosely based on the story of Merappi. Some on the names of the characters has been change to protect the identity of the individuals involved

So, one sunny day I am out and about checking out Crossed blades. I just finished chasing down my twelve dark secrets and looking for my next step in life. I come across this wise looking fellow I have fondly named Obi Wan Kenobi. He is standing beside a place I can only describe as a Hobbit hole. Feeling a little adventurous I decide to go down the hobbit hole. It’s a long hallway with some doors. Skipping along singing my song “Fa la, la la la laaaaa”. I come across a sign Jerry Garcia’s house. I inspect the sign and it lets me know he has cough syrup. I think to myself will this let me sing my song better? Why not, what’s the worse that can happen. So, I go in.
I enter Jerry’s place and am greeted by this man dressed in tie dyed clothing and big hairy beard. Its Jerry himself. I speak to Jerry and he tells me that he has had a rager of a party last night and cannot find his bong. He asked me if I would like to sample some of his cough syrup, in which I agree. Who knows, it might help my singing. After I am done the cough syrup, I did not notice at the time I have some on my chin. Jerry being the gracious host gives me a napkin. I wipe the cough syrup off my chin and put it in my pocket. He then asks me if I could check down stairs for his bong. If I find it, we can partake. Why not, I go nothing better to do. He opens the door and shoves me through it.
Ohhh nice shinny treats. I run over to the treats and I am all of a sudden in a long hall. Feeling a little cheated just like Hansel and Gretel, I carry on. As I am walking down this long ass hall I can hear muffled dance music off in the distance. Rhythmic thump, thump, thump over and over again. I think to myself, wow Jerry’s house party goers must still be going. As I am walking my body starts to tingle. I feel soo strange. I shrug it off. Oh dear a rat. I so hate rats. I give the rat a boot with my foot. Just then the rat turns into this hideous creature that I can only explain and some test rat from the Umbrella Corporation. Dear God what did Jerry put in his cough syrup?
Feeling a little groovy and the music plays on in the distance I carry on. A few more rats, a few more boots and a few more mind trips of the Umbrella Corp test rats I find I’m enjoying myself. As I carry on picturing my self in a scene of Guardians of the Galaxy kick rats as I dance and sing, I come to a door. I open the door and it’s a room with lights, I think it’s a disco! Like a moth to the light I go up the red light and touch on it…..a disembodied voice asks me “Are you sure?” The light is talking to me!!! Holy hell Jerry! Damn that’s some syrup. I answer “Yes”. Why not.
Another room…No doors…. Oh no I feel trapped! I run over and touch the blue one. The light speaks to me again…Yes, I reply. Oh no! Where am I now?!? It’s a room with no doors and holes. My worst nightmare has come true. I panic as I see the portal out. As I run over, I trip and fall down a hole. Its dark and I think I’m in some forest somewhere. This just keeps getting worse and worse. I then realize that I’m Alice in wonder land. I need to drink the syrup to get back to the other side of hole I fell down. But I have none! I see a dog in the distance and its running towards me. I am freaking out right about now. By now the dog has come up to me. I put my hand out to let it smell my hand. It must sense my fear because the bugger bit me. My reaction was to hit it back. Well that was a mistake. I guess the Umbrella Corp did tests on the dogs too. The ugliest dog I have ever seen in my life is attacking me. I punch, kick over and over and then the dog dies.
Crying now with snot running out my nose I sit on the ground. Thinking this isn’t happening. I rock back and forth with my hands around my knees. I remember the hanky that Jerry gave me to wipe my chin… I pull it out of my pocket and wipe my nose.
WTF! I am back in front of the door again. How did I get here? I look down to my hand and see Jerry’s hanky. Ahh that’s how I got here. And just like Alice in Wonder Land, that fat bastard gave me LSD. Well now that I know I might as well have fun with it.
I go back through the door. I touch the RED Light, YELLOW, BLUE, BLUE, RED, YELLOW, RED, BLUE and finally YELLOW. All the while Jigging down pretending, I am Star-Lord kicking rats. Though in one of the rooms with no doors I swear a rat broke out singing Lionel Richie dancing on the ceiling. I kicked him with my foot. I hate that song. I kid you not. That Umbrella Corp rat started dancing on the ceiling.
I am now in this room with two doors. I run past a guy who has a pot belly and a twitchy finger, to the door on the right. The door speaks to me and I jump. The door asks me “ What does TCwaN stand for?”. Wow Jerry that is some good…..syrup. Trying to think with syrup brain I guess. “The City with a Name”. The guy with the twitchy finger I find out his name is EZPickens, SLOWLY walks towards the door. I stand there tapping my foot waiting impatiently while EZ saunters over to the door and opens its mumbling something about the hidden sometimes horrifying 13th Dark Secret.
I race in the door eager to find out this 13th secret. I just did the 12, what glory will I find now? I race through the door and fumble as I try multiple times to get in the portal. Once I get through the portal….What in the 50 shades of Grey have I stumbled into?!? I did not find glory, what I found was Lobsters and Thorak’s S&M chamber. Horrified I ran to the next door.
On the other side of the door its dark…. Oh, so very dark. Strange child like giggles, dog howls and dark chants echo the halls I start my way down the hall way and come across some dogs. Feeling confident in my last encounter with the dog I ran past them all. I ran and ran, body energized with Jerrys syrup I collected them all. I some point I had to stop running and face the dogs. I turned and started kicking and punching them and again they turned into the ugly deformed doggies. More kicking and punching I killed them all.
I came to the end of the hall with a door at the top of some stairs. I ran through. Once on the other side a drum beat hit me. Sweet, Black Sabbath; Iron man. Nothing more to see but more whips and chains. Jerry’s party goers are a little strange. Though I did start to suspect that this was the Umbrella Corps main lab. I chalked it up to Jerry’s syrup and decided its best to leave this room before I go on another one of those bad trips and make for the next door.
I open the door and run through. More rats, more Dogs, this is new…. a cat? Sweet, a Disco dance floor, lets light this baby up! Well now that didn’t go as planned, the rats, dogs and now cats are trying to eat me. I’m running around the room like a chicken with its head cut off when I see this pillar with a Pentagram on the top. Well that does it. Another movie pops into my head. I run up and stand on top the pillar smack dab in the middle of the pentagram. I take a stance and do my best Bruce Lee impression. The dogs, rats, cats and some assassin! Where the hell did he come from? Oh well. any ways back to my story. Now I am pretending I am Jet Li in the movie “One” While singing Papa Roach’s “Last resort” I start fighting kicking and punching the rats, dogs, cats and assassin of the pillar as they try to take my spot. After a few minutes of fighting I am left with the assassin. Every time I kill this guy he comes back as another Assassin. Well…. Hell NO! you aren’t taking my spot on the top! I beat him down and he finally stays down. No more skins! I’ve won. Oh look Jerry’s Bong. I pick up Jerrys bong and look at it while thinking what a strange long trip it has been. A bead of sweat runs off my forehead and onto Jerry’s bong. Opps, he is not going to like that. I pull the hanky Jerry gave me and wipe of the bong, then my fore head.
BOOM I’m standing in front of Jerry. At this time, I’m not sure I should kill him or hug him. I decide I’ll hug him. I hand over Jerry bong he starts to load it. We both share in the bong. While it was my turn on it Jerry turns to me with a serous face and says….” You do know I’ve lost 30 more bongs down there right?” I choke on the smoke. and stare at him like he has gone lost his mind.

This is one of the most funny stories that I have seen..

I got half way and I had to stop reading, bursting with laughter.. lol

Well done with the storie, you will receive a publish contract soon.

L0BSTER

Edit - Publish contract has been received:DONE!